YOU HAVE MORE CONTROL THAN YOU THINK! Part 1

June 26, 2009 | 4 Comments

By: Nelson T. Dy

The next time we complain of working like a dog, remember this classic experiment made on a real mutt. In 1965, psychologist Martin Seligman restrained a dog in a hammock and every time he rang a bell, he induced a harmless electric shock on the animal. The dog struggled to escape but was held tight by the hammock. After repeated tries, the dog soon came to associate the ringing of a bell with fear and futility.

Then, Seligman put the conditioned dog in a box. The dog could easily jump out of the box if it wanted to. He rang the bell, but the animal just pathetically stayed inside the box. He gave the dog another shock but it still didn’t bolt out of the box, as a normal dog would do. It was as if the dog, upon hearing the bell, cringed and thought, “What’s the use?” The poor pooch!

This behavior called “learned helplessness” can be seen in people, too. There are many employees who, because of their personalities, upbringing or disappointments, feel trapped in their jobs. They are convinced that nothing they do will improve the situation. It is no wonder that depression, discontent and demoralization run rampant in the workplace.

Look at yourself in the mirror. Do you see a snout, fur and big fluffy ears? Surprise! You are not a dog! The good news is that, unlike Fido, we have the power of choice. We are not as helpless as we suppose. True, we may not be able to change everything that’s wrong or undesirable in our jobs, but we can start somewhere. Taking the first step of improving even a tiny area of our lives infuses us with hope and enthusiasm.

Here are examples where we have more control at the workplace than we think:

Being thankful. Zig Ziglar likes to say, “Have an attitude of gratitude.” Many people see their jobs as a curse. But if we choose to treat our work as a blessing, a lot of belly-aching will sound moot and academic. Make a list why we ought to be thankful that we have a job: It pays the bills. It gives us a sense of accomplishment at the end of the day. It enables us to help others. It connects us with people. Those who have endured long periods of unemployment tend to deeply value their jobs when they finally re-enter the work force.

Responding to problematic people. A man was unfairly criticized but he remained gracious to his detractors. His friend asked, “Shouldn’t you be getting even?” The man replied, “Why should I let others dictate the way I behave?” Are we wrestling with a difficult boss? Do we find our co-workers whiny, manipulative, even back-stabbing? We can take one of two basic paths: sink to their level or take the high road. We can choose to be patient, helpful and kind even to those who may not deserve it. If your co-workers are really toxic, then set boundaries. Limit time spent with them. If they gossip or complain to you about a third party, direct them to deal with that person instead of dumping their woes on you. Stay away from office politics.

Building our network. But that’s not all. We should surround ourselves with wise, energetic, successful people. The old adage goes, “Tell me who your friends are and I’ll tell you who you are.” Cultivate and learn from mentors. Be active in professional, civic or religious organizations. If you can, set an appointment with someone you admire and interview him. What are his secrets to success? How does he deal with bad days? What mistakes can you avoid?

Expanding our horizons. One man was asking his boss for a raise, “I have been slaving for you for twenty years at the same pay. I have twenty years of experience.” The boss shook his head, “No, you don’t. You have the same experience each year for twenty years.” The point? Rather than seeing your job as a dead end, take time and effort to increase your knowledge and skill. A good place to start is to learn more about your employer’s business: its products, processes, markets and competition. Or maybe it’s time to take that extra class to improve your math, technical or communication skills. Or read that self-help, inspiring book you have been hearing about.

In Part 2, I will share more areas in our work life where we have more control than we think. You may know of other areas that I have not covered. I would be pleased to hear from you and perhaps I can include your inputs for next week’s column. Send your thoughts via nelson_dy@hotmail.com. Meantime, pick up my book Your First Job: A Practical Guide to Success for more advice over how we should really think and behave.

Comments | Add a Comment

• 1.

  Jan (Tue, Feb 16, 2010 10:53)

  This is a good read! Kudos to Career Guide!

  2.

  Arrogancia, Ryan (Sun, Jun 27, 2010 18:33)

  This is very nice, I will share this in the office by posting the article in our board and sending email to my colleagues.

  3.

  Eleison, Kyrie (Wed, Nov 02, 2011 22:02)

  thankyou po sir nelson dy

  4.

  Aurei Nunez (Sat, Jan 28, 2012 01:05)

  I have been following all your articles in your column at career guide. Can I ask a favor.. Can you send me an articles about extending our learings at work...

Post Comment